From disappointment to blessings

Today I was scheduled for the embryo transfer, but this morning the nurse called to tell me that my embryo had not survived the thaw. I was devastated. I really did not expect it. I was completely ready for it to happen! I had done all the labwork, I had taken all the medicine, and I had mentally prepared myself for this, and now I was not going to get the opportunity to see it through. My first question: WHY God? My second question: Are you really there God? My third question: What do I do now? After I boohooed about it, asked my questions to God, and took a shower, I tried to focus on my blessings for the rest of the day. Here is what I came up with: (bear with me, some of them are a little cheesy)

• It is OVER! I know my answer now, rather than later
• I get to keep running and training for the half marathon
• I get to keep my body shape (although I would like my hips to be a little SMALLER :) )
• I no longer need to take my heart medicine (WooHoo!!)
• I have a wonderful husband who loves me
• Most of my family is relatively healthy (including my dogs)
• I have awesome friends in my life who have prayed for me diligently through this
• God IS still there

All day as I was listening to my Ipod, every song that played offered me hope. They reminded me that God IS still there, He has never left, and never will leave me. I just have to keep focused on Him and He will tell me what to do next. I know that I will survive.