Here we go again...

I wasn't sure that I should blog about this even before it begins, but I decided that my journey to have a child has always been an open book, mainly because I hope that others will benefit from my lessons. So I felt it was the right thing to do. So here goes...

I went to the fertility specialist today, for the first time in over 2 years. We met to talk about implanting the last embryo that is frozen. (Sidebar--for those of you who are not of a medical background, an embryo is formed from an egg and a sperm. Two years ago, we made 3 embryos in a petrie dish, implanted 2, which did not stick, and froze 1). We discussed that the process would start in July (the dr is going on vacation for 4 weeks), as well as the odds of it working. But something was different in that office today than was there 2 years ago. GOD was there. Now don't get me wrong, I knew God was in control back then too, but I think I felt that I needed to be in control more than Him. But today, the whole time I kept thinking, "He is in control--not me, not the doctors, and not advanced medical techniques." If this is supposed to work, it will, plain and simple. The "25% chance" we talked about are human odds, not God's odds. And we all know God's odds are the best.

What I need is prayer to KEEP this attitude throughout the entire process. Because what I WANT to do is search for signs that it will work. Signs that have already crossed my mind, like for the first time since I started working for my employer (4 years), we have short-term disability insurance starting July 1; signs like, I have a foot injury, and being pregnant would let my foot heal for a good 9 months; signs like, I would be due around my 35th birthday, which was a goal for me. But I should not look to these things to tell me it will work this time, because I KNOW my God is in control and only He knows the answer. That is the difference between today and 2 years ago--back then I knew it in my head, and today I know it in my heart.

A weekend in the city

It is hard to believe that as of Saturday, Shane and I have been married 11 years! Last year, at 10 years, we went camping in Colorado for a week. We had the best time. While this year could not top that (due to that thing about trying to be debt free), we had a great weekend in Houston, all planned by Shane! On Saturday, we first went to the Astros game. It was the perfect night for baseball in Houston: seats right behind home plate, the roof was open (it was BEAUTIFUL weather), and the music minister from the church we got married sang the national anthem! After that, we spent the night at Inn at the Ballpark across the street, which is something we have always talked about doing. We had a nice dinner at the Ballpark Cafe inside the hotel. Our room had an awesome view of downtown and the new park they just finished last month. Today we had breakfast at Le Peep, then we went to REI and bought a new tent (they were having a big sale). We needed a new one, since two years ago Bailey and Hamlet (Tara's Great Dane) decided they were lonely and escaped out of our old one by making a hole in the door. We had been able to use it with just us and Bailey, until adventurous Rolo came along and thought it would be fun to escape through the same hole in the middle of the night 2 weeks ago when we went camping! So we really needed a new tent. This one is also bigger, in case God decides to bless us with another (human) little one! Too bad it is getting too hot to go camping.

I know, it is not extravagant or fancy, but I am a simple girl and not hard to please, and he knew just what would make me happy. As Tara joked to me today when I got home from the trip, "only you would enjoy a trip like that for your anniversary. Shane is a lucky guy." ;)